Vodka Consumption Stories and Life Humor
It's a bitch getting older. Examples below... 1975: Long Hair 1975: KEG 1975: Acid rock 1975: Moving to California because it’s cool 1975: Looking like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1975: Seeds and stems 1975: Hoping for a BMW 1975: Going to a new, hip joint 1975: Rolling Stones 1975: Being called to the Principals office 1975: Screw the system 1975: Parents begging you to cut your hair 1975: Passing the drivers test 1975: Whatever
|
From: the Bartender, MEMO: Swearing at work It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. I do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. 1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the F@#$ you're doing. 2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting B@#$%. 3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the F@#$ do you expect me to do this? 4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No F@#$ING way. 5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be S@#$%ING me. 6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a S@#$. 7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my F@#$ING problem. 8) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This S@#$ won't work. 9) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the F@#$? 10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the H@#$ didn't you tell me sooner? 11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his A@#. 12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat S@#$ and die. 13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my A@#. 14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F@#$ it, I'm on salary. 15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your A@#. 16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: B@#$ me. 17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the H@#$ died and made you boss? 18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a P@#$%. Thank You, -TMS Human Resources |